So,i recently decided to send my kids to daycare.There had been too much fighting going on and way too much screen time to break it and i just felt like they were bored.No matter how many stories i read,or how many playgrounds i took them to,or how many hours i spent playing with them, there was something missing.SOCIAL INTERACTION
So i started my search for a daycare.
Long story short,here i was on a Tuesday morning registering the kids.
After i was done with the paper work,i went inside the classroom again and scanned it like a robot.I scanned every corner,every teacher,every child and the first thought i had was " i am not leaving my kids with people i only met a few hours ago, for them to play with a few used toys and hang around a few kids in a classroom".As i,i thought there was no way i was sending them the next day.They were staying WITH ME!!!
Then i got home and briefed my experience with my sister, my mom-friends,my psychologist cousin, and explained to them how outrageous the sight of those kids in the room was, with the scattered toys,the noise,and how leaving my kids alone there/WITHOUT ME/ only to play with other kids made absolutely no sense!
Well,no one was nearly as upset as i was.Some of them(most of them)laughed at me (no hard feeling ladies)
I was asked tons of questions as to why i was uncomfortable,or what upset me and i honestly couldn't point out any valid reason other than not liking the idea of them not being around me. HA!(And of course me not being to control what they ate, what and who they played with and how clean they were...)
And then,it occurred to me that i looked at that classroom with the eyes of a mama bear,a helicopter mom who was looking for a way out, for any reason to say "no that's not good enough I'm keeping them home with me, THEY BELONG TO ME!!". And i realized it had more to do with me than them,more to do with how attached i am to them and how controlling i was.NO GOOD.I had put my feelings and my controlling self first and did not even consider their feelings and well being.Who knew? they might love the hell out of it.Playing with other kids (with used toys)might be everything they need at this point.
So, after my enlightenment,my eureka moment,i decided that i was going to give it a shot.I made a few phone calls to make sure the daycare i picked had clean records and had no history of "accidents" or child abuse ,I then made a few more calls to people i knew and trusted who had sent their kids there recently and some 20 years ago and i only got positive feedback.
The next day i dressed my boys in their cutest comfy outfits and went there. I stayed with them the whole time,we stayed for almost two hours. They were ecstatic.My oldest was running around talking to kids in his unique french-lebanese-american dialect.It was hilarious to watch because the kids were pretty confused,but he somehow figured out a way to communicate the keywords like ball?play? and that was impressive.My youngest was glued to my oldest ( face-palm emoji) then they put him in the baby area ( face-palm emoji times three,because he might be 15 month but he ain't got the body or the brains of a 15 month old but hey at least they followed regulations strictly). While we were there it was outdoor play time so they took them out to play outside and they were thrilled !BONUS!!
Then it was time to leave and as we walked out of the outdoor play area i told them they were going to be playing with the kids every now and then,instead of telling them they were going to "daycare"(just because the word daycare didn't make any sense for them but "go play with kids "did,it was also much more appealing)
I figured that the outdoor playtime and gymnastics time was key for both of my boys so i decided to drop them everyday around that schedule and skip the"morning greeting time" and quiet time for now.
So its day 7 my oldest doesn't cry at drop off anymore he only cried for three days ,my youngest still throws a fit but according to his caregiver its getting better by the day.
The lesson i learned: it might not be like "home". Actually,it DEFINITELY isn't like home,i mean nothing feels like home(even a 5 stars boutique hotel/or daycare). It might be louder or less organized but i might also be what they need the most at this point.
I have been told to put them in daycare so many times before and i have seriously considered it, but for some reason i know NOW is the good time and i trust my maternal instinct BLINDLY!
I don't want to make this post even longer i will write another post on what i did to make the transition to daycare smooth, and what worked for me.
Crossing fingers!
And for all the moms who are considering sending their kids to daycare soon and for those who did GOOD LUCK!!!
Sabine.